no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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