Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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