You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
