You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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