I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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