dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
