at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
