I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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