If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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