Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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