I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
