giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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