the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
