he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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