i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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