just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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