Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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