Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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