forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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