I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
