ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
where are my eyebrows?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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