direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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