"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
