Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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