You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
