you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
