hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
