Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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