That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
This house was built for laser tag.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
