Do vagina's smell?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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