I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
