his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
