Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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