am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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