I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
