Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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