Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
