why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
