Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize