I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize