yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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