What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
