'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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