My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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