Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
