I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
