You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
