he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We don't watch enough power rangers
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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