She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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