Pappa wants mamma naked
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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