3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
