just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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