I feel like abortions should bother me more
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
