I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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