You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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