It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
