not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
a search helicopter?!
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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