How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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