My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I love having hate sex.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
