I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
