You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
