I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
