the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
