what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
