New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
